Cancer

[Gary Sisco]

Man, it seems like this fucking cancer will bring us all down, eventually. Last year, I lost my father to it. Over the past year since, two old and good friends. The year previous, my dear old friend and comrade, Janet, gone. We have another family member right now who's almost certainly terminal though the doctors rarely come right out and say it these days. Just a minute ago, I got an email from a woman we love dearly asking for support because she's having her thyroid removed (cancer) on the 3rd. And this last one, too, is completely outside lifestyle control. No one leads (or has led) a more healthy life. Eats right. Works hard every day (horsewoman). Never smoked. No alkiehol worth talking about -- a glass of Pinot Grigio once in a while, nothing more. No hootie weed. Nothing unhealthy. And she's done nothing but introduce a continuous stream of good vibes for all her 50-odd years.

What the fuck.

[Noj]

Last weekend I found out my good friend's dad has bone cancer. It shook me to the core, I love that guy. A tough but funny man, he's a movie stunt coordinator and stuntman who loves golf. I bet he whoops cancer, but even tough guys like him can fall to this terrible disease. I really hope he beats this shit.

[Cem]

Best wishes for a speedy recovery to your friends, guys. One of my cousins' wife has been fighting it for the past year. She's in serious treatment still & not out of the woods yet. Another friend had a cist removed and doing well. These are folks in their early 30s... real sad...

[Steve Reynolds]

awful, Gary

reading this makes me treasure the little things - being healthy has helped me do this - I enjoy looking at the houses and the people and the trees and if I see cats!!! when I walk down the street. I don't even miss my car because I know I'm getting better and will get a car when I need it - and I really am thankful for the important things in my life - like being healthy - which I am right now - thank god for that

be strong, my friend



peace and blessings

[Noj]

Best wishes and positive vibes from me to you and yours too, Gary. I meant to say that in my first post.

[Richardo Caerleoni]

Gary - I don't know you but - despite my anger at this board sometimes/most - it is a community that cares.

I've just (now) come back from tests where they/HELL I/ thought I had cancer...I was losing that much weight...app. it's not. Prob. thyroid. But I won't get the clear for at least a month, so I have some affinity.

As you say, "What the fuck"...We all have to die of something...But, I think I've /maybe got away with it...BUT,

Without now being sensible after the fact... OK, if you drink too much - you screw your liver? You smoke, your lung choice? I never smoked, prob drank too much in Sweden! I blame Dexter!

Beyond that, we can never control...

I think, as Lester Young said in Paris ? "SOS"..."Same Old Shit" and then you're dead...So Learn- we all do this too late?, Live life wisely and in hope...

Very best wishes - RC.

[sonic1]

There is an epidemic of cancer in this country, especially breast cancer. My mother in law, her sis, and a cousin all came up with it recently. And I can think of several friends and acquaintences too.

I think it is the food. The weird crap they do to boost production, the hormones especially. And I don't think the pesticides are good either. And all you need is to have some genetic susceptibility to get it.

Living in Arizona I think about this all a lot. It is funny, we all get a lot of sun exposure naturally but when I go to New York, I am way lighter even in the winter. Arizonans don't tan. They hide.

But that said, with all the new people moving here tanning beds have opened up around town.

Stupid asses...

I hope your family member fairs well Gary. Funny you should post this now because I will be working with a cancer group very soon at work. It is always an intense week at work cause many of these women have either just survived death or about to go there.

[Jesse]

Gary:
I'm glad you weighed in on how cancer is a presence in your life. I was diagnosed with cancer in September of 2001, and from a sonogram to surgery was a dizzying 3 weeks. I received my diagnosis on 9/3, buried my 26 y.o. niece on 9/6, came home on 9/10, woke up to 9/11, had surgery 9/24.
I wish you whatever you need to live with the loss of your pops, & the grief, anger & necessary questions cancer can give rise to.

Jesse

[GoodSpeak]

Gary,

I hear ya man.

I tell people that cancer doesn't run in my family....it gallops.


My mom, three aunts [one is in remission, thankfully], an uncle, my grandfather all died because of that f'ing disease. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Even I had a cancer scare last spring.


I wish your family and friends well, my friend.

[Brian Olewnick]

Linda's best friend, a light smoker, was diagnosed with lung cancer a couple of months ago. Undergoing chemo now but the outlook isn't promising.

I think cancer's only an epidemic in the sense that more people are living long enough to get it. More than an outcome of smoking and other self-inflicted problems, it's a disease of aging (although those things can obviously hasten its arrival). Looked at more objectively, from a purely biologiical standpoint (and, in the end, that's all there is) it's just a common way for the body to shut down. If the average life-span were to increase to 150, you'd probably begin seeing diseases that are quite uncommon today. Not that this makes the suffering of a friend any easier to bear. At least we live in a time where there's a possibility of treatment and/or pain relief.

So, not much use raging against the whys and the unfairness of it all. It is what it is and you can just offer as much solace and love as possible.

[hearsay]

My heart goes out to you Gary and everyone who struggles with it or a loved one with it. Jason Moran's mother just passed away of Leukemia in September, and this was the first person I really knew who had it and died from it. I didn't know her very well, but it just tore me up because I know Jason well, and his family is so loving and generous.

[Enforcer]

Gary,

You're in my thoughts, man. It is some terrible sh** and has hit many close to me over the years. A good friend of mine's little boy just finished treatment for leukemia, and it was the hardest three years and two months (that's exactly how long treatment lasts) of her life, I think. Thank goodness he's in full remission now. I wish the best for your loved ones.

[Richardo Caerleoni]

Gary - Sorry if my previous post was "dimwit"

I thought I had cancer, My doctors told me I had cancer...I don't think so.

App my "fault" is that I eat too little ...I'm a Vegn...so have lost weight.

I thought that was the point?

Hell! RC.

[moneyp]

It's a terrible thing, especially if one is forced to deal with it day after day. Having seen the effects first hand, I'd rather put a bullet through my brain than suffer through months torturing myself and all my loved ones.

Gary,

My condolences. I have the greatest respect for your ability to face overwhelming tragedy in such a dignified and respectful way.

This may not be the appropriate thread to ask, but I want to know if you have read Paul Virilio's Pure War? Virilio is not a rigorous thinker and is kind of all over the place, but one of the things he says that sticks with me reminds me of you:

Virilio sees contemporary society, in its full technological and destructive capacity, as predicated upon a denial of death, on a fundamental fear and failure on the part of the population to confront human mortality. As a result, the issue of mortality, is pushed off, outsourced you could even say, to the military industrial entertainment complex which arrogates itself the task, in its permanent logisitical preparation for war, with the task of considering mortality, while the population is free to narcotize itself in a simulacrum of life.

Virilio counterposes this to the Ancient Greeks, who invented a whole way of living (as opposed to a "lifestyle," which is a pure contemporary phenomen) on the basis of fully confronting the inevitability of our own mortality. As a result, politics, which cannot exist without the polis, is predicated upon a real, permanent obligation of civic engagement and social life, which has become impossible in our error of dispersed geography and simulated existence. I'd be very curious to hear what your thoughts are on this.

[Brian Olewnick]

This reminds me of Ernst Becker's book, pointedly titled, "The Denial of Death" (1973) which covers similar ground, though more about the psychology and less, iirc, concerned with where we reallocate our knowledgeof the impending event. A very important book, imho.

[Gary Sisco]

Thanks all for your comments.

Unfortunately, I've dealt with death and loss so many times now for a guy my age, I don't have much choice but to deal with it more or less head on. No denial allowed; I've lost too many people for that. It doesn't get any easier, for all that.

It does put me in touch with my own mortality, I think, a bit more than usual. As if I need that! But when you've already lost nearly all of the friends of one's youth and glory days, at 50 -- with the knowledge of course that there's nothing now but more to come -- it does kind of keep a waiting pile of fresh earth in the very back part of your peripheral vision, not to be morbid over, but maybe to put a different spin on how you'd like to spend whatever time you have on the planet. For sure. Seems to me like a whole bunch of people, young people esp, live their lives as if their immortal, with all the time in the world to waste or pass frivolously. I'm here to tell them they don't, but, hey, if they want to live that way, it's their privlege, I guess.

I guess, in a society like this one, where most people live protected and sheltered lives compared to those of many other places in the world, it's a kind of natural thing for young people to imagine themselves that way (immortal).

What gets to be a bummer after a while is that I seem to keep losing the people that are the most interesting and genuine, and which the society most needs (IMHO), and it's a very low ratio so far as finding new "replacements" (of course there aren't any) for them. Once in a great while, but not more.

Hopefully, she'll make it, of course. She goes in hospital Dec 3 to begin her treatment. I can't imagine how she and her partner are feeling. They've built themselves over the years, the hard way, a real horseperson's paradise up on top of a Vermont hill, looking south down the spine of the Greens. And they have so many horses, I can't imagine how they'll ever get the work done while she goes through this. I may have to add some of their chores to mine, on some of my easier days. We love those two women very much.

[Gentle Giant]

When I was a year old, my sister died of leukemia. She was only seven. My daughter turned eight in October, and I sweated throughout every bruise she got as a seven-year-old.

My wife's family has a history of breast cancer, so that makes me concerned for my daughter as well. Apart from that, my family has good health genes; many of my relatives kick in the high 80s and 90s.

The guitarist in my band lost his wife to a fast-spreading cancer a little over a year ago. They have an 18-month-old kid. Just plain sucks.

Hope. Prayer. Strength. It's all we can do.

Because....

Cancer
Joe Jackson

Everything
Everything gives you cancer
Everything
Everything gives you cancer
There's no cure, there's no answer
Everything gives you cancer

Don't touch that dial
Don't try to smile
Just take this pill
It's in your file

Don't work hard
Don't play hard
Don't plan for the graveyard
Remember -

Everything
Everything gives you cancer
Everything
Everything gives you cancer
There's no cure, there's no answer
Everything gives you cancer

Don't work by night
Don't play by day
You'll feel all right
But you will pay

No caffeine
No protein
No booze or
Nicotine
Remember -

[Gary Sisco]

Well, as we suspected, the one of our friends who we'd thought was going to be a goner, is, and sometime very soon. Nothing further can be done, apart from pain and dignity treatment, and she's at home, with her husband and son of 16. This one's not a surprise, but, being a family member, is going to make for another rough, grieving winter.

I can't say she hasn't lived the way she wanted to -- she has liked to party with the best of 'em, and for many years now -- she was already on the scene when I arrived -- but few people really expect to pay the man, much as they might think so. Still, it'll be a strange town, never mind family, without her around. Not RIP yet, but soon.

If anyone has some spare "beams," she could use some to ease her way out.

[jaka]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

If anyone has some spare "beams," she could use some to ease her way out.

I'm radiating with them and glad to share.
My thoughts go to her, friends and family.

[Gary Sisco]

Thanks, Jaka.

[Enforcer]

She'll be in my thoughts, Gary.

[Brian Olewnick]

Sorry to hear this, Gary. Linda's friend is pretty much holding steady, no progress one way or the other.

[Gary Sisco]

It's vicious stuff, man. Holding steady is the second best possibility, of course, Brian.

We knew our friend was a goner the moment we heard the diagnosis -- liver cancer -- but of course we never said anything through the months of scans and treatments and such. No one comes back from that one, I'm sorry to say. Well, she had a good run and a great husband and kid. They weren't married yet but they've been together as a couple since I was in my late teens, steadfast and true the whole while. And he's a very tough man who'll hurt much but still be steady and just as true for their son -- and he has very good friends and family who'll do anything for him, anytime.

Our other friend has had her thyroid removed, apparently successfully, and is now undergoing the radiation treatment that is the second step. I suspect she'll be okay once done with treatment. If not, it'll be a sad winter for sure.

Sorry Jaka to hear about your father's diagnosis. All the best vibes from me to him.

[stonemonkts]

Gary - I'm sorry for you and yours. Hard to say anything without feeling awkward but that I'm sorry and if my vibes can traverse the ether I hope they do.

[jaka]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

Sorry Jaka to hear about your father's diagnosis. All the best vibes from me to him.

Thanks, Gary. I'll see him tonight and pass them on.

[hornplayer]

Originally Posted by Gary Sisco

If anyone has some spare "beams," she could use some to ease her way out.

I'm "beaming" you, Gary... and her....

My cousin's daughter-in-law (early 40's with a 6-year-old daughter) has terminal cancer... We're always told, "Tracy's doing just fine," and if wishing could make it so, she would be. but it's a bummer all the way around. and another little firl will inevitably grow up without her Mom.

Brian, a lot of this "epidemic" has nothing to do with "aging," if it does, then how come so many very young people are getting such virulent varieties of the stuff?

[jesus marion joseph]

I'm beaming as well. One of my sisters-in-law died of a relatively rare form of intestinal cancer a little more than a year ago. She was a hepatitis sufferer (many years of battle with the bottle and the syringe), and was diagnosed very late in the game, so her liver couldn't even handle minor doses of chemo, and she passed within sixty days of her diagnosis. My wife and her next oldest sister were able to visit her in the hospital and share some quality time before she died and, even though it wasn't a great shock, it still shook my wife pretty hard when she went.

Cancer sucks.

[Dr Dave]

Terrible news, Gary. I do my best to remember that every day is a gift.

[tippy]

Gary, I'm sorry to hear of the sufferings of those so close to you. I hope your friend can be made as comfortable as possible.

And blessings to Jaka and his father also.

Take care all.