Accident, Tragedy, or Great Loss?

[Gary Sisco]

President Bush was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the
> > >classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and
> > >their meanings.
> > >
> > >The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion
> > >on the word "tragedy". So the illustrious leader asked the class for an
> > >example of a "tragedy".
> > >
> > >One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a
> > >farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills
him,
> > >that would be a tragedy."
> > >
> > >No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."
> > >
> > >A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children
> > >drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."
> > >
> > >"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call
> > >great loss."
> > >
> > >The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Bush searched the
> > >room.
> > >"Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
> > >
> > >Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand...
> > >
> > >In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One carrying you and Mrs.
> > >
> > >Bush was struck by a "friendly fire" missile and blown to smithereens,
> > >that would be a tragedy."
> > >
> > >"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why
that
> > >would be tragedy?"
> > >
> > >"Well," says the boy, "It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly
> > >wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a f**king accident
> > >either".

[tippy]

Lol

Old joke.

When I heard it the protagonist was Jesse Jackson.




Here's a great one my buddy e-mailed me this morning:


A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their

bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds

him sitting at the dinning room table with a cup of coffee in front of

him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as

he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why

are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating,

and you were only 18?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears

thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.

"Yes, I do" she replies.

The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when

your mother caught us behind the couch making love?"

"Yes, I remember." says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues..."Do you remember when she shoved a shotgun in my

face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'"

"I remember that too." she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says..."I would have gotten out today."

[patricia]

Good one, Scott.
Just switch the sexes and it can be just as true.

[crawjo]

Scott, that's a fucking great joke.

[patricia]

Originally Posted by crawjo

Scott, that's a fucking great joke.

As I acknowledged.

Originally Posted by patricia

Good one, Scott.
Just switch the sexes and it can be just as true.

After close to 18 years with me, I'm sure my wife would second this!

Alright Particia, just to show you that I am fair and balanced, I submit:






THE SILENT TREATMENT


A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."


He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up!"



(Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.)

[patricia]

Every guy who complains about his wife going on and on and on about stuff he doesn't give a damn about is totally K.O.'d by silence from her, even for a day. It's an amazing demonstration of the truism, "Be careful what you wish for. You might get it". Works every time.

Ah, yes.

But is it right?

[Gary Sisco]

Richard Pryor had a great routine about his wife(wives) always being after him to "talk about his feelings." Finally one night he erupted: "I feel like killing some motherfuckin' body!"

"Not *those* kind of feelings."

[Monte Smith]

My wife is the kind of person who when she has a shitty day, she has to tell you all about it. Not in general terms. In vivid and exhaustive detail. I begin to think women are like that and men are just the opposite. To a man, when the bad, pesky details of work or life annoy you, you get through it and you don't relive the ordeal later in the evening by sharing it all with the people you love. You lock it up in a box and the only thing you open up is maybe a Budweiser. Not so women. To them, trouble shared is trouble halved. I think it is just a mental difference, so I try to be understanding and a good listener except for one little problem: my wife works in the O.R. at a hospital and so when she has a bad day it usually involves blood all over the room and ruptured organs and bile and infection and hemorrhaging and obstruction and asphixiation and growths and splatter and vomit and choking and leakage and festering (did I say festering?) and brain death. Which can get a little overwelming unless a man has opened up the aforementioned Budweiser. My counter-anecdotes about the travails of publishing seldom involve hazards more fatal than a paper cut. Again, mental difference. Vive la same.

[tippy]

I don't think it's necessarily a biological thing. I think guys learn pretty early that they have to be tough and not show their emotion--it's not manly. In the traditional female realm, a woman may be confronted with pre-civilized (emotional) ids all day and is therefore more used to and not afraid of it. Just a suggestion. Or it's pms.

[Gary Sisco]

Guys do show their emotions. Like Richard said, correctly.

[GoodSpeak]

Originally Posted by patricia

Every guy who complains about his wife going on and on and on about stuff he doesn't give a damn about is totally K.O.'d by silence from her, even for a day. It's an amazing demonstration of the truism, "Be careful what you wish for. You might get it". Works every time.

Nah.

What it proves is women are vindictive as hell.



Cross a woman....you're meat for worms.

[patricia]

Originally Posted by GoodSpeak

Cross a woman....you're meat for worms.

You can avoid unpleasantness in its many and varied forms by remembering that.

[Rob C]

A little poem:

Happy wife
Happy life

Memorize and repeat.

[Gary Sisco]

The woman is always right, even when she's clearly wrong.

That's rule number two. Memorize and repeat.