Your recollection of the Birds and Bees talk

[Coda]

My parents never really had a formal 'talk' with me. My only recollection was on the way to a hockey practice, about 15 years old or so when in the car out of nowhere my mom told me that 'It only lasts a moment and could change you life for the worse if you had children'.

We never mentioned it again and still don't bring up the subject.

[GoodSpeak]

Here's mine:

My Father: Son, c'mere.

Me at 16: Yeah, Dad?
My Father: Don't go pollinatin' every flower you see. Got that?

Me at 16: Uh...sure thing, Dad.

































Wha-?

[frankenmeister7]

i don't remember a thing of my parents even talking about babies being born.

what i learned was from off the streets, my girlfriends and their parents.

my gene pool was of many nationalites but not once did either parent subject me to the where and when of how i came about.

by the time my last sister was born it became a bore.

seeing my brothers in the nude proved that the thing dangling from between their legs wasn't for roasting marshmellows.

[crawjo]

Wait a minute. What are you guys talking about?

[bluenoter]

It's simple, Crawjo. Hit it, boys and girls!

Let me tell ya 'bout the birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees
And the moon up above
And a thing called "Love"

Let me tell ya 'bout the stars in the sky
And a girl and a guy
And the way they could kiss
On a night like this

When I look into your big brown eyes
It's so very plain to see
That it's time you learned about the facts of life
Starting from A to Z

Let me tell ya 'bout the birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees
And the moon up above
And a thing called "Love"

words and music by Herb Newman

[GoodSpeak]

[Il Anto]

Sylvia Kristel movies, 'nuff said.

[GoodSpeak]

This is your mind on birds:




This is your mind on Bees:






Any questions...?

[cookie]

My parents bought me the "Life Cycle Library" and I educated myself. They didn't shy away from sex, but they rarely brought it up.

So when they separated the girls from the boys and we went to learn about menstruation while they did whatever they did, I was already familiar with the clinical terminology even if I hadn't yet reached menses. We watched the Tampax sponsored film then the school nurse had us read aloud from the little booklet that accompanied the film. I readily voluteered to read aloud and as I stood in front of the class and read about ovaries and fallopian tubes and vaginas, I fainted. The nurse had to bring out the salts. I remember her saying "...and your pronunciation of the words was so good!" I think we even got samples of Kotex and Tampax at the end of the presentation.

My parents, conservative as they were, were not opposed to sex education in the school. I think they rather welcomed it. Took some pressure off.

I didn't have sex until quite late (18). Not for lack of opportunity, mind you, but from religious guilt and the scientific fact that condoms break and people can be diseased not to mention assholes. I got good solid information from the get go. And the combination of religion and science made me think twice (or more).

Even when the instruction did come directly from my mother, she was relatively straightforward. She was *willing* to answer questions. She was taught NOTHING about her physical development until it actually happened to her. I think it frightened her and I don't think it was an uncommon experience with women of her generation and class. I can't even imagine that kind of darkness. Anyway, I think she felt a responsibility to answer our questions about development and sex as forthrightly as she could.

What a difference a generation can make.

[sonic1]

My mother was mormon so she never mentioned anything about sex to me. I figured it out all on my own and at school.

My daughter asked about mom being pregnant some time ago. We explained that daddy planted a seed in mommy and that the seed grew into a baby.

That seemed to quell the curiosity of my almost 3 year old (three in late feb). Then the other day we were all in the car and she goes, " daddy, how did you plant the seed in mommy's belly. I mean...HOW?"

Goddam it I thought I had at least a little longer before she got curious? Damn kid's too smart. My wife just laughed at me. I told her I would tell her some other time.

[cookie]

I find that when the actual "mechanics" of basic sex come up(whether in regards to their own origins or human procreation in general), it's my kids who say"like eeeeuuuuw!" They get silly about it. They know the basic facts and though my oldest has had some slight crushes on girls, he's more interested in video games and comic books at this point. My youngest? Not even on his radar, man. It's all about Yu-Gi-Oh with him.

I trust them to be smart about this. I've heard them say some very prudent things.

[Gentle Giant]

My father to me: "Just remember, it's not the way it looks in the magazines."

End of discussion.

[Root Doctor]

When my father was dropping me off at college: "Remember, you're always a gentleman."

[Jazzzoline]

My father, every time I went out : "Take care"

[Chris D]

Never got the talk. Once I had a steady girlfriend and it was pretty obvious what was going on, my dad said: "It's about time. With all those Mick Jaggers and Roger Daltreys around your room I was afraid you liked boys."

[Enforcer]

I was on the school playground in elementary school and two of the girls in my classroom told me I should come play with them. We were underneat a picnic table and they took some blankets from the phys ed room and used them to make a canopy that covered the picnic table so we could have some privacy. They told me, "you show us yours and we'll show you ours."

I learned a lot that day. I wasn't ready to do anything about it yet, of course, but it came in handy later.

[Clay Fink]

Dr. David Rubin

[Noj]

Two older brothers and a neighbor with porn mags...

I was down to kiss the girls with tongue early in elementary school, did it as a show for other giggling kids on the playground.

Like Larry, in elementary school I had a "show me yours, I'll show you mine" with a girl in a tent on a camping trip.

slides of
disaster footage
no questions

[clinthopson]

I learned it the right way, on the streets and underneath the bleachers with Juanice.

[frankenmeister7]

now that i have kids of my own i am more than willing to explain sex in the
most basic way.

the oldest boy when he was 3 told his dad that he saw a book of babies being born and they came out of a long canal.

i found this to be very funny. now jack has that same book and he is fourteen. he put his own words to the pictures and never asked me any questions.

on the other hand, jadie the know-it-all, looks at these pictures all of the time and she has talks with her older brother.

no way she said. i will never let a man poke me and get as big as a house or like mommy with the twins.

sex does intrigue her though. i can imagine what goes through that mind of hers.

when she looks at me and pats my flat stomach she just lets out a hhhmmmmm. so that is were the bundle is stored. she says. very bright little girl. maybe too bright for her own good.

sammy is here also for the truth to not be denied if any of his children want the forcast for the birds and the bees.


he also has jadie on a long imaginery rope to reel her in when the time comes for her to even look at boys. she already has a boyfriend in pre-school.

oye, she is a handful to us.

jack being the oldest has his eye peeled to the back of her head if she ever slips up. i can see him taking down a few guys in the future is anyone messes with this sister.

there are words of wisdom that i learned. be up front with your kids at a very early age and nothing can go wrong. there is nothing to hide. honesty is what they strive for.

if you make up the subject with silly or fake words, they will only bite you in the butt when your kids grow up and they stay ignorant and have babies at 12 and 13.



well i have said enough on the subject.

[J Lee]

I read it all in some book or another between 3-5 years old, or something.

Much later, my mother, with pursed lips, no doubt -- not that I was big on looking at the faces of those with whom I spoke at the time -- said, "J Lee, I think it's time to have a sex talk." We both agreed there was little point in continuing the discussion. The virility and enthusiasm for the female form I demonstrated daily by drawing a rotten violin bow across an over-amplified electric guitar may have spoken for itself, but, if mother knew best, then the stack of nudies I plainly relished behind closed doors also informed her consent to end our little chat.

[Gentle Giant]

Waiting for Darryl to post.

[graypencil]

( background music: 1001 strings playing "It was a very good year ")


When I was ten or so:

my dad sat me down and tried to explain things in very clinical terms, even going to the trouble of sketching out vaginas ,ovaries, penises,and such ..

( remember , this was the Eisenhower/Beaver era ..no pun intended )

when I was sixteen or so:

I got some hands ( and other body parts ) on experience with a more "advanced" camp counselor
at a summer music camp ..


when I was twenty three or so:

I was on the road , and a 40 year old divorcee REALLY showed me how it was all supposed to work!

[bostontricky]

Originally Posted by graypencil

when I was twenty three or so:

I was on the road , and a 40 year old divorcee REALLY showed me how it was all supposed to work!

I'm reminded of Peter Falk (as a Sam Spade knock-off) in "Murder by Death":

"You ever make it with a waitress? A big, fat, blondie waitress? You haven't lived until you've done it with one a them"

(or something like that)

[Gary Sisco]

My old man and I were headed out one morning to go fishing. While packing up the stuff, he said something like, Well, you're old enough now I guess for us to have a talk about some things.

Like fucking? I asked.

Yeah, that, he said.

That was the whole of the discussion.

[clinthopson]

for graype:

But now the days grow short
I’m in the autumn of the year
And now I think of my life as vintage wine
from fine old kegs
from the brim to the dregs
And it poured sweet and clear
It was a very good year

It was a mess of good years

And may you have many more!

[cookie]

My mother's remarks on menses: "My baby can now have a baby! (girly girl sobbing, hair stroking etc). "If you get pregnant, just remember that I won't help you raise the brat."

And she meant it. She's a very hands-off grandma.

[Gary Sisco]

Good one, Cookie. A frickin' smart grandma, right there.